you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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