But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't make out with my wife yet
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
