jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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