he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
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