I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
