Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
