Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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