Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
