wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
