is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
