FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
