seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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