I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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