New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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