He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
