Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
