I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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