I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
