i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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