Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize