I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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