Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Floor bacon is actually really good
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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