My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
