Come see our sink grown plant.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
