sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
