Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
