i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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