Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
