why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
