Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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