omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
