whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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