my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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