You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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