Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
