Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
