I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
