i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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