I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize