No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize