I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
