just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
