just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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