I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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