Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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