He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize