dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't deserve a penis
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
