OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
