Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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