I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize