I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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