Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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