the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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