u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
