i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's blow job season.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
