I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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