"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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