How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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