Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize