I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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