Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
