oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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