just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
