That's intense
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize