they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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