The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
