It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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