Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
