Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
