I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize