During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
