Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
