I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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