woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize