I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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