The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
