Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
