I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
