walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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