I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
