it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
