We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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