You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
