i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
