How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
